Maybe it was the cancer full moon, maybe it was the New Year New You resolution spiel but god damn did it feel like my soul was taken over by this big dark force that squeezed the joy and excitement from my heart…and left me feeling…hmmm how do I put it?… Down in the dumps for two weeks.
For the first time in many years, I actually felt that dull sickness in my stomach as I opened my eyes in bed. That same sorta feeling I had when I despised getting up for the day to go drive an hour to the corporate job that didn’t really light up my soul. I could not logically understand what on earth was happening.
Here I was living my LITERAL vision board life after saying so-long to my decade-long cushy corporate life a few months ago. I’m talking two-hour-long morning routines. The time and freedom to do whatever the hell I wanted to, like hop on a plane and scoot off to Bali for two months if only for the fact we weren’t still locked up in our homes here in Melbourne lol. Getting paid damn well to do what I genuinely loved. Not to mention, just about making my annual full-time corporate salary in the first two weeks of the year…surely I had NOTHING to complain about.
No amount of self-reiki, smudging, or waving my selenite wand over my chakras could take away this feeling. My crown center felt so overloaded like my brain was about to burst from all the noise that just would not go away. I wondered whether I was experiencing a glitch in the matrix because that emotional wave in my solar plexus felt forever stuck at a LOW that I wondered whether it would ever come back up. And weirdly…I felt a complete disconnection to my heart center…like a hand popped out from the universe, scooped in and yanked out my heart from my human design chart. It felt nowhere to be seen.
I sat slouched at my computer in my home office and cried my keyboard a river. My inner drama queen wept like it was the end of the world. I threw this self-pity show in the “this has to be one of the lowest moments of my human design experiment” basket. And after five years de-conditioning in my personal human design experiment, rising out from the depths of burnout after masquerading as a Mani Gen & go-getting Manifestor, you can make a bet I’d already been through a hell of a lot by this point.
In that sulky moment, it’s like a hypnotist snapped me out of a looong trance. I felt like my soul come back from god-knows where, re-entered my body and stopped me in my tracks: “Kiara…what the fuck are you actually doing? Surely I’d lost my mind. I closed down my computer and woke up out of the daze I’d been drowning in. Suddenly, the dark smoke that surrounded my aura disintegrated. The fog from my glasses wiped clear. AND I could finally see wtf was happening to me: I WAS OVERTAKEN BY THE COLLECTIVE CONDITIONING OF THE BUSINESS REALM and had momentarily lost sense of my soul’s desires without even realizing it.
What is Conditioning in the Human Design system?
Conditioning is the beliefs, stories, ‘shoulds’ we consume from outside sources such as parents, friends, society, and of course people on Instagram that influence the way we act in our day to day lives and our business. According to the Human Design System, our open or undefined centers (the white shapes in your chart) are where we more easily take on conditioning from the outside world.
The whole pretense of the Human Design System is that we remove this conditioning so we can come back to who we really are, who we were born to be and quit living by other people’s rules. This process is called the de-conditioning process. It includes releasing the disempowering beliefs that hold us back from living in alignment to our human design. According to the founder of Human Design, it typically takes 7 years to “de-condition” and connect with your true design.
So how on earth did I get to the low of this self-pity show, drowned in conditioning of the business realm? Here’s how…
Come day 1 of 2022 I set the intention to find myself a next-level business coach for the first time as my 1:1 had been booked out for a year and maybe it was time to add to my offer suite to match the insane demand filling my DMs. So there my search began…I started consuming an overflow of content from a range of multi 7 figure business coaches and business strategists. They had BIG followings. They flashed around BIG numbers. And with it a platter of information overload: “Launch a low ticket course so you can make a million in your sleep. Launch a group program so you can help 50 people in way less time. Launch a trip-wire funnel and multiple ladder offers so you don’t leave money on the table. Have a feminine business because that’s the way to scale. Do this. Do that. Do this. Do that. So much noise that it drowned out the quiet voice of my higher self.
Ever since Day 1 of my Human Design in Business experiment, I had my blinders on. I stayed in my own lane as I generated my first six figures in my humble side-hustle and made a conscious choice not to look outside of myself at what others were doing. I did not experience comparisonitis like so many others do on their way to their first six-figures. I was very intentional with where I invested my energy and who I opened up my field to for conditioning.
But in this moment as I took off the blinders and set my sights on the future, I was so consumed in my search for support that I started thinking like them. Like I handed over the control and let them play god for my human character. I unknowingly placed them on a pedestal because they were years down the road. It was as if I opened up the gates to my centers and let them re-write the code of who I was and what I wanted. I gave them full permission to condition my centers without much conscious thought of my heart’s desires. THIS RIGHT HERE was the root cause of WHY I felt so out of touch for two weeks and ended up weeping like it was the end of the world.
Whilst I spent 13 years marketing and growing brands into 9 figure business empires for others, I’ve found the journey of growing my own business in this online realm to be a beast to deal with when it comes to conditioning and the process of de-conditioning. It’s been the most intense self-evolution portal in using my human design strategy and authority because of the sheer amount of decisions and freedom I have. Using human design in my personal life is great, but in business? It has become a HD experiment on steroids.
Here’s the reality: There really are a million ways for me and you to scale in business. I know all these approaches would work. I know all these business coaches would be amazing at what they do. I know these mentors would collapse time and give me their exact roadmap on how they hit their first million sans the hard lessons. BUT the thought of implementing 99% of the advice that flowed my way in these two weeks sucked the soul out of me. They just didn’t align with my human design. I can always make a mountain of money- but if the day-to-day reality behind serving such offers doesn’t honor me or the daily life I desire then what’s the point?
The external noise within the online realm of business will always be there for us. There will always be conflicting advice because our personal truths are subjective. There will always be moments when we will be swayed and make decisions that aren’t aligned with our human design or soul. Conditioning is just part of being human. I don’t think that we will be de-conditioned humans by the 7-year mark (that’s right I get to choose to disagree with the HD god Ra).
In the realm of business, we are forever doing things outside of our comfort zone and reaching new levels we’ve never experienced before. We will forever be faced with learning new things in the game of business so we will forever be more susceptible to conditioning than the regular person who has a 9-5 job. Our only task is to choose alignment in every choice we make in our business journey, no matter what level we are at or what that next level looks like. Or whether we even want to reach a next level because there’s nothing wrong with just enjoying the fruits of our labor without constantly wanting to do more, achieve more. Someone is always going to be “smarter” or “more progressed” but it doesn’t mean they know what’s right for our soul and human design.
3 Ways I de-condition in business by human design:
I am by no means an “expert” in de-conditioning and removing all the stories, generational wounds, past life traumas, so on and so on (I’d recommend a therapist or psychologist for that) but I’ve learned a thing or two in my Human Design in Business experiment so far about de-conditioning our human design centers. Here’s three key things I try to keep in mind in business as I navigate the noise of growing a business online in the hopes that it may help you too. Remember, filter this all through your own system 😉
1. With an undefined head center, I am mindful of the advice I am taking on board in business > Most of the time as a Marketing Consultant and Business Guide I just don’t consume ANY business content at all. I do not follow others in my niche zones because I want to stay focused on my own lane. Whilst I get the benefit of receiving inspiration from external sources and ‘expanders’ it just makes it harder for me to hear my own intuition and the internal guidance I am receiving. If I’m in a place where I NEED support or help on something, I follow those I resonate with and usually take the information on board but then filter it through my own system. In those two weeks, I DID NOT filter the info through my own system and that’s why I ended up in the place I did. That doesn’t mean you should unfollow every business or marketing expert if you actually struggling to market and attract an overflow of clients or customers to hit consistent 10k+ months. If you need help in this area, by all means follow them but be DISCERNING about WHO and what advice you are allowing to sit in your centers (including my advice). If possible, choose someone who has a decent awareness of the human design system. The Head Center is a really important one to be mindful of because of the susceptibility of the human brain and ego to latch onto things for the sake of “logic”. And we all know just being in your “logical” busy monkey mind without the heart does not honour us here in our life.
2. With a defined heart center, I am mindful of going over-board with that WILLPOWER in business > I’ve learnt that although I have Projector energy and do not have consistent sustainable life-force energy to work long hours, my defined heart definitely gives me more energy as it’s a motor center. So if I follow my human design authority and commit to something I will do it, I will keep at it. That’s the thing with centers, much like traditional chakra wisdom I think de-conditioning is simply an IMBALANCE- it is much like a pendulum that sways from one side of the spectrum to the other. There is such a thing as using too much will-power. I’ve found whenever I’m too in my ego I may overwhelm myself and do too much. In that melt-down, I jotted down I was going to launch an online course, and a group program in the span of a few months and after coming to a place of clearness that just sounded like absolute overboard for my gentle system. I’ve learnt by now, making more money is not everything if it sacrifices your human design and mental, physical emotional self in the process. Do the things your heart wants to do, even if everyone else in the online space does the complete opposite.
3. With an open root center, I am mindful of putting unneeded pressure on myself to grow in business> as a past people pleaser, and giving myself a chronic illness after putting so much pressure on my shoulders I’ve learnt this lesson really well. I DO NOT ever want to force myself to take action on things or force myself to work harder, or work faster just because that’s the game the rest of society often plays. In that foggy void, I took on the energy of the business coaches. I suddenly thought I needed to set this mega goal of 10Xing my income in one year when really my soul just wants to chill for a year and keep doing 1:1 programs. It’s more than just getting over the mind-set block of making money without self-sacrifice, I have been in the business world for long enough to know what it’s actually like behind the scenes when you run a 7-9 figure business. I don’t want to manage a team, I don’t want to run an automated machine. Been there, done that. It just does not appeal to me at this moment. Serving my soul’s work in a way that is intricately threaded as part of my daily life and impacts people at a depth unlike ever before is where my focus sits. When we release the need to rush and “constantly achieve more” life is a lot more simple and beautiful.
Human Design is such a powerful tool that helps us understand where in our energetic field we are likely to experience conditioning on our business journey and what that conditioning may look like for us personally.
If you’re ready to start your own Human Design in Business Experiment I invite you to sign up for The Decode Your Human Design Basics In Business 90min Free Class here.